Illusions
by bananamoonbelly
Summary: Haku, determined to make Chihiro remember him after he searched for her twelve long years after leaving the bath house, find out what happens to our two lovers as Chihiro finds herself in love with Haku, memory or not. REVISED.


Illusions By: Star_Gazer 

Space_Case2@hotmail.com

A/N: I'm making this fast because I'm super tired! I actually just finished this and NOW I'm writing up here…figures…well…it's a three to four hour type up so Read and Review! Love you all and hope you enjoy! 

Disclaimer: Short and sweet; Spirited away does NOT belong to ME. I own a copy of the DvD but nothing more. The story, however, is my idea so don't steal it. Thanks and enjoy ^^ (oh, and please don't sue me! ^^ how can you resist such a face?!) lol.

Illusions By: Star_Gazer 

Space_Case2@hotmail.com

            "Oh, Lina! That's awful! The poor guy…he probably just wanted to take you out to dinner!"

            "Saka, honestly, I was just trying to be logical with the man! It's not like he ran away crying!"

            "God, Lina, leave it to you to lead a guy on and then strip him of his pride."

            "Shut up, Chihiro! At least I can lead a guy on!"

            "Yeah, long enough to make him go running again." The table's occupants all burst into laughing at Chihiro's comment, except the red-faced brunet known as Lina.

            It had been a long morning for the trio, whom had sat down at their favorite restaurant for an early brunch. Chihiro, with her close friends Lina and Saka, decided to skip classes for the day to allow themselves a day off. Weeks had passed since Chihiro felt she was finally able to settle down with good friends over a meal socializing as if she were five years younger. 

            She felt happy, knowing that she had such people in her life.

            People that were now arguing over who paid the bill.

            "I just don't think I should have to do it, again." Saka announced whilst allowing her honey colored hair to flip evenly over her shoulders in response to an agitated Lina.

            "Why are you so damn stubborn all the time! Gosh! It's just a stupid bill!" Lina cut back, amber eyes growing paper thin in rebuttal.

            "Look you guys-"

            "Stay out of this Chihiro! We're trying to figure this out!"

            "Lina! Please! Just let me pay the bill! It's no big deal, okay? It's just a small amount…" Chihiro stated while opening her purse and searching around through it to find her wallet.

            "Chihiro! That's what you do every time we go out to eat here! I won't allow it again! We poor, starving college students have enough to cover something this small." Smiling at Chihiro's sigh, Lina picked up the bill and placed it down in front of her, reading it carefully. Reaching into her own handbag, she fought around a little to find her own wallet. Only in time for Saka to grab the bill and stand up.

            "Saka! Give that here! It's my turn to pay!" Lina looked up, a tad frustrated at the blonde.

            "It's okay Lina, really, I'll just handle it this once…" Daring Lina to challenge her, Saka put the bill in between them, "You know what? We'll do it like this, the first one to garb it is the one who gets to treat!"

            "You're on!" Lina, ready for a good gamble, stood up. But, before the two had another chance to even speak, Chihiro stood up herself, taking the tab with her to the front desk.

            "At least we're not like this when it comes to shopping..."

                                                            ~§~

            The cold wind flew over his face, numbing his already frozen expression. Stepping around the small black mounds of slush, gathered at the curbs, the man walked on into the night. Pulling his heavy black coat around him tighter, the stranger proceeded to round the corner when he, as if almost purposely, ran head-on into another frostbitten citizen.

                                                            ~§~

            The three friends had been window-shopping for the past hour now, what they called "budget shopping for college students," and Chihiro was personally getting rather tired of it, "Come on, Saka! There's only so many shoes you can buy before finding that you already own them!"

            "Stop stressing yourself over my shoe collection, would you? I'm just considering sales here!" Saka, obviously stalling in front of their location (a shore store), addressed to her chestnut haired friend.

            "Yeah, really, Saka! It's freaking cold out here! Do you think we could find someplace a little warmer?" Lina whined.

            "We could always go inside…" Saka proposed, shrugging her shoulders in mock to her suggestion as she pointed towards the store.

            "Not a day in my life," Chihiro called, before pulling her two friends away from the shoe-infested store, "Come on, I know a little coffee shop that's just around the corner." As they began walking again, two of them trying to keep up with Chihiro's pace, they caught up only in time to see their friend lying on her back in the snow.

            "Hey! Watch where you're going, mister! You almost hurt her!" Lina spat, crossing her arms over her chest, "That's not a very courteous thing to do to a lady!"

            "Lina! Don't be so rude. Apologize to him." Saka cut in, folding her arms across her chest.

            "Guys…" Chihiro dazedly spoke, sitting up in the snow while holding her head in her mitten-covered hand, "It's fine, really, I'm okay…" And then she woke up to the fact that there was someone across from her, someone she had knocked down as well, "Oh, God! I'm so sorry…sir…" Chihiro called, jolting up at full speed to help the person she had just collided with, "I'm terribly…sorry…" When she looked up, into the face of the person, her words ran off her tongue slower, losing their will to have any definite course.

            His eyes were so cold.

            Reluctant to speak and unable to turn away, Chihiro stood staring straight into the solid eyes of someone she could've swore she'd seen somewhere before.

            All she could see were his eyes.

            And those eyes bore into her very soul, seeing straight on through her.

 Testing her wits, Chihiro took one step closer to the strange man, and then another, and finally one more, taking in his familiarity to her memory, "Have we met?" Was all she said, the words barely escaping her mouth.

            And he didn't respond.

            He walked on, right past her, staring straight ahead of him.

            And without turning back, he continued his steps away from the three girls.

            "What's with him? Not even an apology!" Was all Lina had managed to say. Chihiro turned around, glaring at her friend.

            "Must you always say something so blunt in situations like that?" Chihiro, rolling her eyes now, turned to look at her other friend, "You too, Saka! And I thought you were more mature than me and Lina put together…wait, no, erase Lina from that cause she only drops my position to negatives…"

            "Hey!" Lina yelled, balling her hands into little fists, "That's not true!" The three walked down the roads, bursting into a small fit of giggles over their pervious encounter. They headed down the street together, arms linked, all three smiling. But Chihiro couldn't help but look back over her shoulder, hazel brown eyes staring off into the distance of the road where the stranger had went.

                                                            ~§~

            He walked on into the night, oblivious to his surroundings. Trudging on through the snow he forced himself to rethink what had just happened, to him, all too fast.

            He bumped into someone, knocking them over.

            They started to speak to him, but he was elsewhere.

            And…

            He could remember hazel brown eyes, big, stunning, coffee-colored eyes.

            _Was it her?_ His mind seemed to ask himself, unsure of his memory. _No, it couldn't have been…it's been far too long since I last saw her…why would I see her now…so easily?_ He argued back, fighting a twelve-year-long war inside of his mind, a battle he had fought with himself ever since he left the world of the spirits.

            Ever since he started looking for her.

            _Chihiro, where are you?_

                                                            ~§~

            "I really have to stop spending so much money on this damn thing…" Chihiro sighed, closing her laptop computer, throwing its battery charger into the nearest outlet to power-up for the night. Staring outside the window that stood next to her, Chihiro rose from her seat at her rather tiny, cluttered desk while grabbing her empty coffee cup. Walking into the small kitchen area in her even smaller apartment, Chihiro set the light green mug into the sink, "Too much studying isn't healthy," She said to her empty kitchen, while managing a yawn.

            She began to leave the room, when a little photograph hanging on the refrigerator caught her attention. "I remember that," she said, smiling to herself as she plucked the tiny square from under its magnet. "That was the day when we first moved into our blue house…" Chihiro laughed slightly, looking at the picture of her, her mom and dad, all standing in front of the said blue house. 

Then, she stopped when she noticed the greenery that stood out like black on white in the background, "And that forest…" Chihiro paused and took a closer look into the picture, "What's that? I've never noticed that there before. It looks like smoke from a chimney…ands there's so much of it," indeed, there was a small, barely noticeable line of smoke that trailed to the sky in the background of the photo, "I wonder if there was someone living back there in the forest?" 

Suddenly, she dropped the picture and nearly fell over. Catching herself in the process at the nearest counter, Chihiro opened her tired eyes to find her vision spinning, "Looks like I need some sleep…" Carefully heading off to her bedroom, Chihiro flicked the lights off, the photograph lying unmoved on the white-tiles of the kitchen floor.

            Climbing into bed, Chihiro's dreams were filled with obdurate green eyes.

                                                            ~§~

            "So, as you can tell, from this example that Yuki presented us with, the proper to discipline a student within the time limit of your lecture is to…" Chihiro blindly took notes to the session her Professor was reviewing, looking up at him every so often. Her Professor always rambled on, causing her to go through sheet after sheet of notebook paper. 

Somewhere in his discussion, Chihiro's thoughts began to wander, back to the event from the day before, _His eyes we're so cold…so...unmoving…like stone..._ Proceeding further into her memory, Chihiro recalled the stranger's face in what small detail she could, _I remember how I couldn't really see anything but his eyes…but…I could have sworn I saw a little more then that…I just…can't recall what…_ Pondering this new thought, Chihiro sighed, capturing the attention of her Professor.

            "Miss Ogino, care to add your two scents to the matter?" Stiffening under her lector's icy glower, the young women smiled stupidly and nervously retorted a comment.

            "That's quite alright, sir, just jotting down notes of your discussion…wouldn't want to interrupt…" Taking this as an apology, the older man continued with his session. Forty minutes later, Chihiro's class finally ended.

            "And remember, students: you're paper's are due next Tuesday, 9:30 am and no later! I don't accept late assignments!" Presentations will be on that day so come prepared-" The grumpy old man called out after his fleeting class, mumbling under his breath when he noticed that there was still one person left in his classroom. 

"What do you want, Ogino class is over."

"I know, sir, I just had a question, that's all." Chihiro spoke softly, allowing her hands to lace together behind her back.

            "This had better be good, Ogino, I have a meeting in less then fifteen minutes so make it fast."

            "I just wanted to know if there was a way I could hand that paper in earlier, sir." Chihiro gestured to her handbag, "I have it finished right now, sir." He seemed surprised at this piece of information. Though, he shook his head at the young woman before him.

            "I'm surprised, and somewhat impressed that you went ahead to finish it without today's lecture notes, but I'm sorry, I have to collect them all as a whole." Nodding slightly, Chihiro smiled and hurried out the door.

            "That Ogino…such a pain in the arse sometimes…good thing she's as bright as she is…"

                                                            ~§~

            "I can't believe him!" Chihiro almost yelled as she stalked off down the sidewalk, away from her campus grounds, "Professor Ruki makes me so irritated!" Chihiro raced outside as face as possible, only to notice briefly that it was snowing slightly. Running along the snow-covered, slippery walkway was not exactly the smartest thing to do, but Chihiro was in a hurry to get out of the cold, December air. Again, not looking where she was going, she ran straight into what felt like a solid wall.

                                                            ~§~

            He was late again for his class, running up the snowy sidewalk that lead to the tiny campus as fast as he could. His strong legs carried failed to give him any speed due to the snow, which was falling faster now. 

Hurrying down the barley visible sidewalk, he collided with something smaller than himself. Standing up quickly, he looked at the figure on the ground he had accidentally taken down with him. About to apologize, his tongue got tied before he could even stutter.

            And all he could say was her name.

                                                            ~§~

            "Chihiro…"

            Looking up was a typical reaction when someone called one's name, and Chihiro responded to this rule quicker than light.

            And she saw those same, frozen green eyes.

            "You…" she started, staring at him again, this time taking in his entire self, "You're…that guy I bumped into last week…" Faintly remembering back to that exact moment, as if to emphasize that to make her own shaking self believe this wasn't a dream. "Oh!" She blushed awkwardly, "I apologize! I shouldn't be so rude." Bowing her head in respect, Chihiro returned her gaze to the young man sitting in the snow across form her. 

Turning her head to its side, she stared at him briefly, as if recalling something. However, as fast as her look of contemplation came, it vanished. 

Taking in his slightly tall, well-built physique, sinfully straight green-black chin length hair, Chihiro felt that same familiarity lurking up her stomach again.

            But his eyes were what stood out the most.

            While she stood there, or rather sat upon the snow, he had little time to do his own observing.

            It was her.

            It was really her.

            She obviously grew taller, slim legs that reached a perfectly curved waist, stretching across a smooth stomach, and rounding off nicely at the top, a long neck that pillared a lovely divine face; he could tell she was in the prime state of her womanhood.

            But her eyes stood out the most to him, still, even with as many distractions she came equipped with.

            "Will you stop eyeing me like that?" Chihiro, cheeks red under his stare, tried her best not to sound rude, but ended up failing miserably. After all, who could feel comfortable under such a heavy gaze as his?

            "Chi- I mean, I' m sorry…?" He started then, stopping himself before repeating her name again. This time, he tried to make it look like he didn't know her name. So, standing up from off of the ground, he sighed almost sadly.

            "You know my name, obviously, so why are you pretending not to?" 

_Damn. Caught. _

She had caught onto him before he could cover himself. Something was strange about her though. 

Didn't she recognize him at all?

            She asked if she had meet him before, but the distant, unfamiliar look in her eyes told him she didn't remember him.

            At all.

            Perhaps all of those years had made her forget? 

            "Do I know you? Have we met?" She asked him again, as if reading his thoughts. He paused at this comment, and decided he had better not let himself slip.

            "No, we don't, we've never met before."

After all, she would think he was crazy if he told her the truth.

            "Oh…" She stated ever so simply, and returned her gaze to the snow, as if being incorrect about it made her recollect her thoughts. Then, he realized that she was still on the ground.

            "Oh, Sorry! I just left you there, here, let me help you up…" Chihiro, lifting her gaze to meet his, slowly reached up her own hand to touch his. And gloved hand met gloved hand.

            But she could have sworn she felt something jolt through her.

            Of course, as fate would have it, Chihiro lost her balance, falling forwards, landing clumsily in his arms, "S-Sorry!" She managed before turning her head away in a furious blush. He smiled but said nothing, enjoying the feel of her in his arms at long last.

            And for once in twelve damned years, he was happy.

The snow danced around them, glittering as it fell downwards from the skies. Shimmering against the blanket of snow, the sun's dim rays seemed enough to light the entire scene without a single imperfection. 

Standing still in the middle of everything, silent to one another, stood Chihiro and the stranger she had bumped into twice. Then, in the midst of everything, he nearly jumped.

            "Oh great…" The stranger looked down at his watch and pulled a hand through his hair on nervous habit, "I'm late for class…" Releasing Chihiro reluctantly, the stranger bent over to gather all of his belongings that he had dropped into the snow.

            "Oh! I'm sorry, let me help you!" Chihiro called dropping to the ground to help him get everything he had scattered in the snow. Once she bent over though, she accidentally banged heads with him, causing him to fall into her lap.

            He realized where he was.

            And almost jumped up. 

            But he didn't move.

Chihiro managed a smile and started giggling really hard, "That tickles!" Flopping her legs around, she opened them far enough so that his head fell through into the snow beneath her, "I'm sorry!" She said, still laughing. Coming back up for air was the unnamed man she had just met, spitting snow out of his mouth.

"Thanks for the warning." Laughing, Chihiro opened her eyes barely wide enough to see that the stranger, this bizarre man she kept running into, was smiling at her. When she saw how messy his hair was, she burst out laughing again.

            And her eyes twinkled with so much life.

            The two picked themselves up from the snow and remained quiet, until he spoke up, "Look, I'm sorry about all that, I'll be careful next time I decide to run like a lunatic through the snow…" He gave her a polite bow, although he seemed slightly hesitant to leave, "Well, I'll…see you around then?"

            "Yeah…" Was all she answered before watching his back as he smiled and nodded, heading off quickly again down the path. 

She forgot to ask him something.

            "Hey! Wait!" She called out to him, he turned around, "What's your name!?" At this he seemed surprised at.

            "My name is Haku."

                                                            ~§~

            Haku came trudging into the classroom…forty-five minutes after it had started…

            "Haku, how nice of you to join us…almost an hour late…" His Professor looked up from his lecture to acknowledged the student rather sarcastically, "And I'm sure you've come with a good excuse…?"

            After class finished, Haku, opening his car door, deciding to himself those twelve lengthy years were worth his wait.

            And he would make sure that they wouldn't wasted any longer.

            He was determined to make her remember him.

                                                            ~§~

            "_Haku_? That's _all_ you got, was his _name_? No last name? Not even a number?"

            "Nope."

            "Well then, girlie, _no_ last name, _no_ phone number, then _what_?"

            "Well _sor-ry_! It's not like I had the time to ask him anything else!"

            "Lina's got a point, Chihiro. Come on, you were in a sinking soap-opera scene! _Snowy field of reflecting sunlight, Gazing into the eyes of your beloved_-"

            "Seriously! Stop it, you two!" Chihiro groaned, still shaking from Haku's touch. After she rushed home, she had called the two up, and they all now sat around her living room, hugging pillows and eating mint ice cream, "I don't know him that well, but I think I know him…from somewhere…"

            "Well…" Lina started, rubbing her chin lightly, "Did you tell him your name, at least?"

            "No," Chihiro innocently shrugged, "He already knew it."

            "_Excuse me?_ I don't think I heard you right." Saka spoke, eyeing Chihiro skeptically. 

            "He knew my name-" Chihiro started to say but was abruptly cut off by Lina.

            "He knew your name? Before you told him?" At this, Chihiro nodded, "Sounds like a _stalker_ to me!"

            "Will you stop, he _is not_ a stalker!" Chihiro's cheeks puffed up defensively.

            "And how do you know that?" Saka added in, poking Chihiro in the ribs.

            "Sounds like you better keep your eyes peeled, to me, Chihiro. Either he knows your named cause he really, really likes you (even though he doesn't even know you), or he's a stalker." Lina finished, a slightly worried expression gracing her features.

            "Stop it, you!" Chihiro laughed and threw a pillow smack dab in the middle of Lina's face. Saka joined in with another.

            Chihiro, though preoccupied, couldn't help but wonder what her green-eyed stranger was up to…

_            Haku? _Where_ have I heard that before…?_

                                                                        ~§~

            It was freezing in her apartment by the time she opened her eyes, "Thank god I don't have classes today…" She called out to the two sleeping lumps besides her on the floor. Chihiro, somewhat of an early riser, stretched with a loud yawn, and stepped over the two sleeping forms. Moving to the kitchen after assuming that she had fallen asleep very late last night in her living room, on the frigid floors, she concluded that she would start breakfast.

            Hours later brought the petite brunet to the library downtown in order to complete the presentation part of her project due next week. Training to be a high school teacher wasn't it all it was cracked up to be. Chihiro still had a lot she needed to learn and several more years to go before getting even her first degree.

Searching the rows upon rows upon rows, the young woman turned a corner a bit too sharp and-

            Don't even guess whom she ran into.

            "You know, we really have to stop meeting like this."

            "Haku!" She called out, laughing as he stretched down a hand to pull her up by.

            "And what brings you here?" He asked, noticing the books she'd dropped, picking them up, he read them aloud, "Teaching Course; Ninth grade and up? 9th-12th Grade Teaching?" Chihiro looked up, taking the two books from him.

            "My carrier choice is to be a high school teacher." Chihiro smiled. An older lady with thick, curly gray hair, arranging books on a nearby self looked over at them.

            "Shh! This is a library! If you want to converse, go somewhere else."

            "Ah, so I see, that you like teaching, then." Haku laughed, seemingly ignoring the older lady and focusing on Chihiro.

            "What about you? I saw you running into the college the other day…?" Chihiro also paid very little attention to the librarian and more attention on Haku.

            "Shh!" Came the rusty voice of the librarian once again.

            "Actually, I want to get into Architecture."

            "Be quiet or leave!" The librarian yelled in a whisper, "Out!"

            "Doesn't that take a lot of years in college?" Chihiro laughed a little too loudly because the next thing the two knew, they were thrown out of the library.

            "Well, so much for that…" Haku chukled, "Do you think she was mad?"

            "Who that librarian? Nah!" Chihiro started giggling, Haku adding in his rich, deep laugh to her higher one.

            "Well then, M'lady, where are you off to?" Haku asked, taking Chihiro's arms in his own, "I know this great little restaurant down the road if you would be interested in joining me?" With a cheery smile and a laugh, Chihiro joined arms with him and began down the street.

                                                            ~§~

            It was literally late when the two came stumbling through the front door of Haku's apartment, laughing and giggling like there was no end to it. They spent the entire day together; swinging from one place to another and neither of them had ever had a more wonderful experience.

            In fact it was so wonderful, that Haku had insisted that the night go on.

            So here they were joking and laughing inside of his apartment living room. After brewing some hot cocoa, the two sat upon the couches and slowly began to shimmer down as Haku lit the fireplace. The two then sat there.

            In complete silence.

            "So…" Chihiro started.

            "So…" Haku followed.

            And they were silent again.

            "Okay, um, say something…" Chihiro began, taking a large sip from her mug.

            "Okay…you're truly…" Haku hesitated for a moment, closing his eyes, "…very beautiful."

            _Splat._

All of Chihiro's contents she had just taken up, spat right back into her cup in shock, "Excuse me?" She asked, slightly taken aback.

            "I said, you're beautiful." He finished, not taking his eyes off of her.

            And the light from the fireplace seemed to glow a little warmer on his skin, making him look twice as honest to her.

            "I-I-" Chihiro stuttered, swallowing the lump that formed in her throat. Chuckling with a heavy, husky tone, Haku made his way to sit next to Chihiro on the loveseat she cursed herself for picking. 

            Haku was driving her insane. If not just his very image breathtaking her, now he was twice as close to her.

Bringing an arm around the girl, Haku brought his lips to her ear, and pressed down so lightly, he barely touched her. 

At this, she went completely ridged.

            And then he brought his hand around to her side and pulled her closer to him. Whispering into her hair, he kissed everywhere his lips touched, "Don't you remember me? Chihiro…twelve years ago…twelve long years ago?" She shook her head once, not understanding, but feeling another twang of remembrance rising to claim her.      

            Haku, losing his own sanity, began to slowly trace his lips down her neck, carefully, as though not to startle her, "You can't remember?" He whispered again, this time almost sounding hurt. He came to her collarbone…

            And stopped.

            "I can't do this then…not without you knowing… or remembering me. You never knew how…much I…" He hesitated here, "…I loved you…how I missed you…" His voice trailed off in a painful whisper. 

Chihiro gasped, bringing a hand to her mouth, she realized his words…

            _He loved me?_

            "Haku…" She started, bringing him close again, after he had already pulled away, "Haku…"

            "No, I can't…it…isn't right…not when I have to sit here, knowing that can't even remember me…" Tears fought themselves to fall from the man's eyes. Burning, flesh-melting tears he could no longer sustain.

            So he cried.

            Twelve years worth pain and suffering that he had left the Spirit World in order to receive. Twelve years and he was just now finding her…

            How fast time could travel.

            Chihiro didn't know what to do…she wished there was something she could do to remember him…something she could say to make everything better…

            But she only seemed to make it worse.

            "I'll leave," She said and started to stand, he looked up at her, as if a ruined man.

            "No…don't leave me…again…" He seemed better now, somewhat, but those eyes.

            They were so sad.

            She reached up, wiping each and every last one of them away, "To hell with memory!" Chihiro smiled sadly at him, cupping his face in her hands. With his forehead against hers, she whispered to him through thick lashes, "I don't care whether I remember that I loved you at one _time_, _tonight_, or in another _lifetime_, all I know is that I love you _now_." Bringing her lips to his, daringly, she pressed every little bit of her soul into him.

            And he kissed her back, living that moment by her words.

            They stayed wrapped in each other's arms. He filled in this moment with everything he harbored within for all of this time.

Everything that he had believed to be lost.

He held her firmly, unwilling to release her. 

            He couldn't stand waiting so long without even being able to hold her.

            And she wrapped herself around this man, this being who said he loved her all this time, this beautiful, irreplaceable, captivating person.

            She didn't care what she had shared with him, all of those impossible memories that lie beyond her reach, in a time and place that no longer registered to her, Something, something deep inside her told her that this was right. And that this man was right for her.

            He kissed her again, making sure she knew that every ounce of him was living only for her.

            She had never been held like this before.

            And he would never hold another like this.

            Wrapped up in Haku's arms, Chihiro fell asleep to the sound of his heartbeat.

            "I'll make you remember me, little one, no matter what…I only hope you'll forgive me if I've made a grave mistake…"

                                                            _

To be continued in part two. Read and Review and find out what happens in the next, second, and last part to Illusions!

                                                            _

A/N: Hey, hey there! What did you think? Did you like it? I hope you did cause I'm praying that I'll get a response on this one too. I'm sorry if there's any spelling or grammatical errors in this, I reread it just in case I missed more then I wanted to. It's about 4:00 am now so I think I'll head to sleep once I post this. Took me four hours but here it is! Part one of Illusions: complete! Read and Review! And feel free to email me at Space_Case2@hotmail.com. Chow!

-StarGazer


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